You may remember I wrote about @WeAreDorkis a couple of weeks ago. In the third part of the collectables series, I interviewed Frank & FCC, and we talked about their interesting burning mechanism designed to protect the Dorkis’ floor, offering an 80% refund for any disappointed Dorkis holders. This burn also allows holders to curate the Dorkis, and with each dork sent to the cemetery, the rarities of the Dorkis will adjust.
Since writing that article, I have minted a couple of Dorkis for myself! I was delighted with the two Dorkis (pronounced Door-Keys) I received, and as I explored the others, I couldn’t find a single Dorkis (pronounced Door-Kiss) that didn't have some charm.
I love how @NFTtori’s artwork catalysed daydreams about dorky situations, misunderstandings and adventures. While looking through the 3K+ minted Dorkis, I found myself imagining backstories, personalities and family trees. Additionally, WeareDorkis’ random and clever name generations made it even easier for me to assume character traits and triggered plotlines, which inspired today’s playful post. I hope you enjoy this temporary break from interviews and are entertained by my Dorkis Story.
Hi! I am Zaphod Sockpuppet, but my friends call me Zap. I like to be optimistic and enjoy meeting new people. I am old enough to drink umbrella-ed beverages, I can grow a pretty powerful moustache, and I am often referred to as the life of the party. I am a great mediator and the middle child in our family. Archer, my twin, is the eldest by 26 seconds, which they believe makes them clearly superior. Archers’ main argument for superiority comes from what Mother calls ‘DRPs’ or ‘derps’, short for Dated Royal Protocols.
Our mother, Kalan Sockpuppet, is a renowned ichthyologist and quite an impressive woman. She isn’t the best cook, but she knows how to spot a good takeaway. She is extremely hardworking and is one of the most intelligent people in all of Dorkdom. My mother has more interesting things to say than most people who talk, yet most people only ever ask her about her brother, Case. I suppose it makes sense. He is, after all, the King of Dorkdom.
Uncle Case is a fair ruler and a good man for the job. He is most agreeable and has humble tastes for a royal. He is mostly soft-spoken, except when advocating for peace. Honestly, Dorkdom could be a lot worse off. Mom would be a fine Queen as well, especially since if given the throne, she would likely turn Dorkdom into a true democracy, but we’re not allowed to imagine that around Uncle King Case.
Truly Dorkdom is a beautiful country, and it is a pleasant place to live, but I would never want to rule. I am not an anti-royalist per se; it’s just, ruling a country seems entirely too time-consuming, and fame is a terrible inconvenience. Every time we visit Uncle King Case, it is such a to-do. The regulations and formalities are just too much. DeRP! Gratefully, I will likely never reign. In fact, I say, thank goodness Archer is older! Just one more layer of protection from unfun responsibilities and the stresses of national needs. So obviously, being younger is superior.
Besides, the chances of Archer becoming the King of Dorkdom are so slim that even recognizing the 26 seconds between our births is pointless. Not only would our saintly mother and Kingly uncle have to die, but so would our tolerable cousins Princess and Master. They aren't the most likeable in the family, and I lowkey dread the day Princess will be queen, but I would never wish them ill. It is just too unthinkable, and it always upsets me when Archer brings it up.
I will tell you this though, If something were to happen to the family, Carlos would probably have something to do with it. Carlos is my younger brother. He’s got my mother’s smarts but not her even temper. We keep saying he is just going through a phase, but after so many years, I think we have to accept there is something not quite right about him. He loves laughing at scary movies, and he is a bit too happy when bidding everyone farewell.
My mother does her best to keep him busy. She says, “Idle hands are the devil's workshop,” but she can’t keep him busy all the time. It is just a matter of time before he ends up in jail or with a bounty on his head. Just yesterday I heard Carlos cackling at the idea of Dorkdom burning. I am not saying he would set fire to the countryside, but if you told me he did, I’d believe it.
Archer says if something like that did happen, then our distant cousin Yankee could be the first American in history, to claim Dorkdom’s throne. I think Archer's love of facts and history blinds him to the horror of that thought. I hope that never happens, not because American Dorkis aren’t amazing, but rather because it would mean that Archer, Mom and I would all be dead Dorkis, and I quite like us all alive.|
You can help expand The Dorkdom and save Dorkis from the burn by minting using the link below.
Adopt and unite a Dorkis family on Opensea.io using this link https://opensea.io/collection/dorkisofficial
I can’t wait to see who will remain and reign come Monday.
